Cookymunchkin Cooks!: 2013

The 2013 State Fair Fried Food Report

Finally! I finally got a chance to sit down and do my annual State Fair Fried Food blog! Hooray for me!

Unfortunately, this year's selections aren't as exciting as the previous years'. There were really no standouts in the best or worst food categories. Mostly everything was just kind of blah.

But, the BEST thing about this year was that I got to go there with my sweetie-pie, so it was FUN!

On with the show...

"I got burnt up, folks!"

Unfortunately, Big Tex self-immolated last year. This was a national tragedy. He had a funeral. It was sad. So you can probably imagine how much most of us were anxiously waiting to see what Big Tex II would look like. So we waited. And waited. And then we got THIS:

Big Tejano

This is just WRONG. No pectoral muscles. Knee-high puffy boots. Tacky boots. With ROLLED UP JEANS. WTF??? Also, he still has a creepy face, but it's a DIFFERENT creepy face. And there are those who think he has a bit too much of a tan. Also, wonky arms. I'm going to stop here before I start to cry.

(...I'm okay.... I'm okay.... It's just a puppet.....)

(deep breath)

*sniffle*

So to continue with the food...

As good little 2nd- and 3rd- generation Texans, we had to start our Fair Day with a Fletcher's Corn Dog. They take away your citizenship if you don't do this. I wish I were kidding.

Note: ANOTHER scooter lady came up while we were eating our corn dogs, griped about not being able to park at our table, so her daughter told her to get out and walk. Which she did. I hate Wal-Mart so much.

Our first foray into this year's Fried Food Festivities was to try the new Spinach Dip Bites.

Spinach Dip Bites – Creamy and delicious spinach artichoke dip bites are coated with crispy tortilla chips and flash-fried until golden brown. Bites are served with salsa for an additional kick.

These were actually pretty good! they had just enough cheese to be creamy and stretchy, and the salsa gave it a kick of lightness. Nice job, Fried Food people!

The place that had the Spinach Dip Bites also had my favorite Fair food ever, THE STRAWBERRY CHOCOLATE WAFFLE BALL!!!!! So I had to bring Johnny over to the Dark Side, because he had never had them before. And this is a shame.

Best. Fair Food. EVER.

How's that for Food Pr0n?.

Next up was the Deep Fried Nutella.

Awesome Deep Fried Nutella® – Whipped Nutella wrapped around a extra crispy dough and deep fried. Topped with strawberries bananas MORE Nutella chocolate whipped cream and powdered sugar.

Um....Nice try.

This was phyllo dough wrapped around Nutella (I think). Covered with a couple of small blobs of Nutella, NO WHIPPED CREAM, and two slices EACH of strawberries and bananas. (You don't mean it! TWO whole slices???) When you pick it up to bite it, it just shatters everywhere. There's really no filling to speak of, and this was pretty much just a waste of Nutella. I'd be happier with some Nutella smeared on a banana. Or just a spoonful of Nutella. Something. Not this.

Next up was Deep Fried King Ranch Casserole.

Fernie’s Deep Fried King Ranch Casserole –This stick-to-your-ribs TEXAS SHAPED creation is melted cheese, salty, spicy, goodness that is dipped in a zesty southwestern egg wash and coated in panko bread crumbs. Deep fried golden brown and crunchy on the outside; steamy and creamy on the inside! Served with a side of red, white, and blue tortilla chips and your choice of our homemade “salsafied” sour cream or cheesy queso. Each one proudly flying the flag of the Lone Star State and deep fried in the Heart of Texas!

I see Ro-Tel....

This was okay. It made me want to go home and make my own King Ranch Casserole. Which I did last Thursday. And mine was WAY better.

Also, my deep fried King Ranch Casserole didn't come with cheese. Just sour cream.Not "salsified" at all. NO CHEESY QUESO???? What gives, Fernie??? Why you wanna be like that?

Finally, we ended our Fair Adventure with the Deep Fried Cuban Roll. Which was okay. Mainly it was a bunch of undeserved hype.

Deep Fried Cuban Roll – A filling of slow cooked pork shoulder, chopped ham, Swiss cheese, pickles, and secret sauce is spread onto a slice of Swiss cheese, rolled up in pastry dough, and deep fried. Roll is served with a side of mojo sauce for dipping.

Boring with not enough gravy. NEXT!

The Butter Sculpture

This year's Butter Sculpture was still in progress when we saw it, supposedly because the sculptor ran out of butter. I'm not even kidding.

This sculpture is a little more disturbing than previous years'. I like to call this one...

Big Tex Loves the Little Children...A Bit Too Much..

Creepy....

Why is that baby humping Big Tex's leg????

And this brings us to...

CREEPY CRAP ON THE MIDWAY!!!!

Uh...

That's kinda scary...

OH MY GOD IT WANTS MY SOUL!!!!

*deep breath*

I'm going to conclude this year's Fair post on a humorous note. To get the scary clown imagery out of your brain, let's watch Johnny on his favorite ride. You're welcome.